Don't try so hard - the snarky post

nothing will happen. I got a "just relax and don't try so hard..you'll get pregnant if you stop thinking/ obsessing about it" from someone.

So, I decided to break this little comment down. Let's start with "just relax." Believe it or not, I am relaxed. I get massages when the tension gets to be too much. I will treat myself to a little retail therapy if my bank account says it is ok to and if all else fails, I hide and indulge in a good cry. It is hard to explain to people why this comment stings so much...as if people look at me and think my panties are in perpetual bunch when it comes to ttcing. For the record, I try not to wear panties if I can get away with it so no my panties are not in a bunch, thank you very much! To imply that I am doing something wrong and that I am so tensed up is ludicrous. Sure, as a human living in the real world, I have stress in my life. Sure, after trying for so long, I am stressed that it will never happen. But, that is human. Any person (woman?) who has been having rather regular and unprotected intercourse with her mate/ partner/ husband/ boyfriend/ insert your own damn title would wonder WTF! And that would probably cause that person to stress. Tis a simple fact of life and don't tell me that you would not be slightly stressed if you were in my shoes.

Now onto the "don't try so hard." I can't help but wonder if I am suppose to lay like a cold fish during sex? Or if we are not supposed have sex, because well, its the sex that most people assume cause a pregnancy. Maybe, I am supposed to avoid the big O? Really, this statement is crazy since I am not sure what I am supposed to do or not do to avoid "trying so hard." Can someone enlighten me?

Finally, "you'll get pregnant if you stop thinking/ obsessing so much." This is actually my favorite. Honestly people, I do taxes for a living. Do you think I spend every moment of every day thinking about getting pregnant. That would make for a poorly prepared tax return...don't you think? When I am working out, I am actually focused on my workout. I could give you example after example like this. Of course, if I stop thinking about ttc and getting pregnant, then I am thinking too negatively and that's bad too. So where is that fine line? If I think about it, then I am over thinking ttc and if I don't then I am think too negative. And all that negative thinking is also causing me to not get pregnant. As a result, I am unsure of how time I am supposed to think about ttc before I cross that "thinking/ obsessed so much" line and how little I am supposed to think before I get to the "thinking negative" line. And since this line is invisible, I think I am screwed in the whole thinking arena.

If you stop and think about it, assvise from "just relax" to "you're obsessed" do more then just sting. I think for me, it makes me feel like some kind psychotic failure. I can relax...but not be too relaxed. I can't figure out how to not "try so hard" and maybe that's my problem (oh, if you could see my eyes roll) and figure out how much to think or not not to think.

Other things I don't want to hear: "pray"; "it's God's plan"; "why don't you just adopt?"; and another personal favorite of mine "maybe its not happening because your not married." Uh, thanks. Now who's thinking too much about it and being negative? I have prayed, begged and pleaded with God..trust me on this. I am sure that is God's plan for me to have babies...that's why I was born a female. I don't want to adopt and I don't have to explain why to anyone. As for the whole married part, well, lets just say there are a lot of unwed crack whores popping out babies so I am not buying that dumb ass assvise one bit.