I wonder

I am sure I am crazy for wondering this but this craziness is either a side effect from the progesterone or a true sign that I fell off the crazy tree. I am wondering what my embies are doing or thinking right now. Thoughts such as "I wonder if mommy will ever eat chocolate again?" or "Hmmm...if I am a girl, will daddy build me a shoe closet?" I wonder if my embies are leaving finger prints on the sides of their petri dishes or tossing and turning waiting to get out and play.

Ok, please don't point out the obvious. I know my embies are made up of but a few cells and aren't actually thinking or talking to each other. I know they don't even have finger prints and the urge to go play outside. But really, I can't help but contemplate what is going on with my little embies.

My embies. How can I be so attached to a little clump of cells that I get sad thinking some of them might not make to a baby? I certainly can't hold them in my arms but the mere thought of letting them go hurts me. I feel selfish is saying that I want all of them to survive and the ones I don't put back, I want to freeze. But I can't justify throwing away my unused embryos. I wish it were tomorrow so I can see my embies and know their status.