Getting it off my chest

Ok, so here is the jist of it.

See, Scott is about 15 years older then me. I know that...I knew that going into this relationship. So did he. (Duh!) I walked out of a not so great relationship. Scott makes me beyond happy. I feel so very happy to be in a relationship with someone who respects me and loves me...someone who wants to be happy.

With that said, I obviously walked out of relationship that wasn't as great...that was plagued with problems. I knew that I did not ever want to marry him; or even have children with him. When I left him (the ex), I basically hated him.

So lets fast forward some. Mr. ex got married and had a kid. Fine...shit happens, right?!

I find out (from a reliable source) that Mr. ex is apparently still a part of my family. He and my sister still hang out and talk a lot and he has my nephews...a lot. My nephews call him and email him too. Now, I really thought my nephews would me more accepting of Scott. But, I guess I was wrong. I have gotten to a point where I am totally not talking to my sister (unless she calls first) and not worrying about my nephews. This makes me sad, since I spent years taking care of my nephews.

Ok, so there is more too. See, my mom has always said she was done being a grandma. She didn't want more grand kids, unless of course it were my brothers who had kids. This means they wouldn't be having kids out of wedlock (like me). That's a whole 'nother discussion. My mom knows how much I want kids...and not just any kids, but kids with Scott. Anyways, this source has been telling me that my mother (yes, my own mom) has been showing pictures of Mr. ex's kid to people and bragging that this kid is her grand kid!!! OMG...fuck, fuck, fuck...I can't beileve it. This totally has my blood boiling...to put it mildly. This...from the lady that can't stomach the thought of more grand kids.

And the icing on the cake, you ask?!?! She wants me to testify on Mr. ex's behalf in the custody hearing. Sure, I will testify. I will let everyone know that he is a fucking asshole, not capable of being a good dad, and yes he is a violent man who hits women too. URGH!!!!! I can't even express my anger right now.

And what pisses me off the most is that Scott has been so great to my fucked up family. He has open his home to them...taken them out for dinner. WTF did he do to deserve this? I know that my bitch sister will never accept Scott...nor will she encourage/allow her kids to but my family should be ashamed of themselves. I know I am ashamed of them.

I was only going to blog this...but not publish it. But, I just can not express to Scott just how hurt I am and angry I am in regards to all this. I know that I should let it go and just say "fuck it" when dealing with my family. I am sure Scott would agree but I am afraid of being all alone in the world. I mean afterall, if you don't have your family, then who do you have? I suppose that a whole different post.

Oh, and the icing on the cake??? My whole family knows that I will forgive them over and over again. They know that I am so damn afraid of being alone that I will forgive them. They know that can even guilt me into forgiving them. Ain't life grand!