The Secret

I am going to preface this post by saying that I don't not know a whole lot about the "Secret" or exactly the philosophy behind it. I have heard the cliff notes version of the "Secret" is if you want something all you have to do is believe you will and get it and Poof! You will get it. I know that proponents of the "Secret" will say there is far more to it then that. I know that some would say the "Secret" is sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

With that said, I am sure that religion and the "Secret" do not go hand in hand. I understand that for some people out there, there is no high power, no God. Others are very saddened by what they think is God's refusal to help them.

I am not going to push my beliefs (religious or otherwise) onto a person. I believe in a higher power...I believe in God. To be honest, I have faith but I am fed up with organized religion.

Does this post have a point? Yes! See, Scott and I were having dinner with some friends. I have noticed that many of my scientist and engineer friends don't believe in God. I am not making a generalization here...I am sure there are scientist and engineers out there that do believe in God. Our friends (a scientist and an engineer) were talking to us about the "Secret". (I am use the " " to emphasize the theory that is very popular right now.) They agreed that what I know about the "Secret" is the easy, not detailed version, and there is more the "Secret" that what I mentioned in the first paragraph. But, I just don't buy it. I didn't wake up one fine morning and say "hmmm....wouldn't it be cool to have arthritis?!" Yes, I thought that it wouldn't be easy to get pregnant, but I seriously assumed that it would happen within the first 6 to 12 months of trying. Did I bring infertility onto myself (self fulfilling prophecy) by thinking that ttc would "take a few tries?!" I don't think so. I never wished for infertility and I would never wish it upon anyone.

S & E (leaving out their names on purpose) explained that they had to get rid of self doubt and learn to think differently. I swear I felt a "just relax" statement in the air. Guess what?! I tried that...not the "just relax" part but the get rid of my self doubt (I will never get pregnant) and think positive (I swear I am pregnant this cycle). I am sure it works for some people but all it did was raise my hopes and get my spirits down. I decided that all my ART cycles (injects, iui, ect.) that I was going to use a visualization technique. I would visualize the sperm-meets-egg-meet-happy lining-get a positive HPT cycle over and over in my head. I would be sooo excited to guide my little embie to my uterus. I would will my uterus to be a place that an embie would want to implant and live for the next 9 months. In case anyone is curious, yes, I did try to "relax" and I still very relaxed. But, I could relax until I fall into a coma and that isn't going to get me anymore pregnant then I am now. By the way...I am soooo not pregnant!!

Eventually, the conversation changed. I was happy about this since I started to get annoyed. We are all human and to have self doubts is normal. At some point in our lives or another, we have to learn to think differently. That's what makes us human!! But, I have this faith ingrained into me that I just can't let go. And this faith and belief tells me that I did not inflict infertility upon myself. And to be fair, I would never force my faiths and/or beliefs onto another person. That's just not who I am as a person. I don't think S & E were trying to force the "Secret" on me. Actually, I was waiting for them to pull out a sales kit of sorts and attempt to get me to sign up for Amway or the Secret-way or some Ponzi-scheme-ish.

Now to be PC. I am not knocking the "Secret." If it worked for you, well more power to you. It seems like more bull shit to me then not. But what do I know. I am not saying you are (or were) wrong for believing it. What I am saying is that its not for me.

ETA: I am not trying to knock my friends for believing in the "Secret." Its great to be able to believe in something. I am glad they believe in it. Nor am I saying my S & E were talking about the "Secret" in regards to my IF. I don't think the general conversation was about me at all. Believe it or not...its not all me, me, me. For the record, to the best of my knowledge, I don't think S & E even know about my IF. But it is my blog and I was trying to wrap my mind around the "Secret" and why I don't think it applies to me.