Before a new cycle

I always get anxious before a new cycle. I wonder if it will work and what I can do to make it successful. I get excited thinking about the what-ifs. Every new cycle starts out positive; a chance for me to achieve that elusive bfp. I usually stay pretty positive until after ovulation. Then, the doubts and fears rise to the surface and I think of all the reasons why the cycle will fail.

So here I am with PMS again and it really sucks. My only comfort was my sushi dinner. I have to thank Nancy (who gave me a heart attack and made me do a happy dance in the space of 30 seconds) for planting the whole sushi idea in my little head. I have been craving sushi and thought for certain that my "seared ahi" dinner last weekend would quite that craving. My bad! I finally got a plate of ahi tuna sashimi. MMMMMMMMMM!!!!! My little belly is very happy right now.

I am still excited about this coming cycle. Scott and our construction guys demo'ed our downstairs rooms and right now I am getting excited that I could be picking a room out as a nursery. I was talking to Scott about baby names last night. I did a happy dance when I got my trigger shot in the mail today. It seems like all things could be coming together but after all this time I don't want to jinx it either. I can't imagine truly planning a baby nursery or picking out baby items. I get this way every few cycles or so and always get let down. I am going to think positive for now and keep my hopes up.

For now, I am going to be riding the ups and downs that go with cycling and wait for my aunt flow to again make her appearance. You know, I don't miss her ever so why she seems to think that I want to see her again is beyond me. LOL!