Since When?!?

WTF are these panic attacks coming from? I don't think I can even pinpoint it on one particular subject matter or another. Out of the blue, I get this tightness in my chest and I start to have trouble breathing. This started during the tax season and I automatically assumed it was due to the tax season. But this feeling of panic and fear has ceased to stop. I have tried to keep track of what is causing them but can not make any determination. OMG! That is almost causing me to panic. So far it seems like the Sharks, the recycling, ttc, blogs and soup are causing me to panic. Riiiighttt!!!! I refuse to believe this is caused my normal, everyday things and have to acknowledge there is something deeper.

To make matters worse, this is affecting my work. I stress over little details and panic over simple tasks. I almost lost it when I realized that a few files were out of alphabetical order. I get nervous calling my clients. MY Clients!! I have some really wonderful clients. But this is just the icing on the cake. It is also affecting other aspects of my life. Like....my sex life! Yikes!!! :( This really sucks. I was joking with Scott about my inability to achieve the big O lately. I made this bad joke that if "I just relax, it will happen!" Man, that ruined it for me. I.Can't.Relax!!! I want to; in a big way. When did life become so complicated?

In other news...well, there is no other news. Nothing new on the ttc front. Oh, wait! That's a lie. I got some of our test results back and talked to our IVF coordinator. Due to "outstanding post wash counts" and my "excellent response to follistim (not to be confused with Gonal-f)" they "highly recommend" one more injects with iui cycle but using a "gradient wash (the expensive iui prep)" as opposed to a "basic iui wash." I can't justify wiping our my IVF fund for an iui when I have have had 5 iui's with no luck. Seriously, I just don't see a how it could help. Call me pessimistic but it seems like if is were to happen, it would have happened already.

Tonight is game 7 of the playoffs. If we lose, I will be crying over the baked fishsticks. Stay tuned for an update.