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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Another Safe Haven Gone

As an infertile woman, there aren't a lot of place to go or people to talk to who truly understand the fear, anger and pain of infertility. That is of course until I found safe haven #1.

My little message board was a place filled with all kinds of women, fertile and infertile alike. We bitter infertile had our own little space to vent, cry, complain and be as bitter as we wanted to be. I loved our little space and vented many a times about things that I won't even blog about. Then we found out that lurkers were reading on our safe little board and they didn't not like what they read. They resented our anger and bitterness. Our once private board was opened up and all our so called dirty laundry got aired. Now to be fair the person who was the original lurker loves drama and had been in the center of a few firestorms. So, it was not surprising to me that once again she was fueling a fire. Things were said, the air was clear and our safe little message board is back to normal.

Facebook was safe haven #2 for me. I could post IVF updates and chat with my fellow IF'ers. That is until I started getting friend requests. Not just any friend requests, but friend requests from the group of people with whom Scott and I associate. See, I wouldn't quite call the people is this group a friend. I mean, I surly wouldn't be able to count on them in my time of need; I barely even know them. I made some changes to my profile, removed my blog link and accepted these friend requests. I mean, what's it gonna hurt, right?

But now I feel like I have to sensor myself. I have posted less then usual on my little message board for fear that my bitterness and anger my scare or offend someone. I don't want to post IVF or FET updates on Facebook now. Gaa!

2 comments:

elephantscanremember said...

That whole situation on your first safe haven (which is one of mine too) really agitated me. Now we feel like WE have to tiptoe around and bottle up our feelings for the sake of those that *may* be offended?!

I am not one to cuss at all, but I just want to say F-off to those people. They have no right at all, and too many previous if'ers stuck up for THEM and not US.

Get a life!

Mommy Shoes said...

It's very hard when one of the few outlets to deal with the pain of infertility is taken away. I am hoping that LP will remain a haven after this tweaking.