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Thursday, March 13, 2008

I'm infertile, not stupid!

This is my 3rd tax season ttcing. See, I do taxes for a living and live my life based on tax season's. For example, tax season 2004, Scott and I started dating. In the "real world" that means that Scott and I started dating in 2005. Way back when I didn't want to consider a tax season baby. The longer I tried, the more I realized I didn't care. So you may ask, "whats that got to do with the price of enchilada's in July?" Well, this is also the first tax season that I have been letting my clients know that I am infertile. Now, it's not like I am shouting it out, catching them by surprise. It's in response to that dreaded question, "when do you plan on having kids?" I have tried to be nonchalant about my answer in the past but now I can't anymore. I want the whole world to be extremely well educated about infertility and the toll it takes on a women mentally as well as physically. My response is usually, "when I save up $15K for IVF." Once I get the "confused" look, I explain that after more then 2 years of trying, we have no rhyme or reason for not ending up pregnant. Our only hope if IVF.

On a side note, I have been trying really hard to save for IVF. I really want to apply for loans or credit card to pay for IVF. I know that is really irresponsible. But I want to be a mommy. I know that I will not be doing my children a favor by having debts that are out of my control.

I had a new client ask me if "I am qualified to do his taxes?" I wanted to answer "yes you dumb fuck, I am inferile, not stupid!!!" Instead, I explained my qualifications and proceeded to pick up a new client for my office.

Agian, I have to wonder about my posts. They seem so scattered. I used to be much better at writing. I guess when I am "blogging" my thoughts/ feelings I don't have to be "perfect."

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