My achey, breaky heart

Well, its tax season and I am totally up to my elbows in taxes. I had clients today...again. I pretty much will have clients everyday now. My clients today (I will call them the "Smith's") have a baby boy who will be 3 in a few weeks. They came as a family to their tax appointment. I could hear the little boy in the lobby while I was clearing my desk talking to his daddy. I got choked up. He said, "come on Daddy, lets play with my truck!" And he talks as clear as can be. I took the Smith's into my office and the little boy (LB) started talking to me. He told me he was going to be 3 soon and showed my "this many" on his little fingers. I said to him "wow! You're gonna be a big now, huh?!" He opened his arms long wise and said he's "gonna be this big." Now my nose and eyes are getting that pre-cry burn. Deep breaths and fake sneeze to hid my distress. I finished my appointment and chatted with the Smiths about life and everyday things. We talked about rafting and fishing and Mr. Smith was very excited about taking LB fishing when he is a little older. I had to mentally remind myself that I hate cleaning fresh caught fish. We wrapped up our small talk, I gave them a list of missing information and my card. All the while my heart was breaking. I am cramping, AF is odder then usual and it just sucks. I could imagine my and Scott's son saying to Scott, "daddy, lets play trucks" or our daughter saying "Daddy, I want that dolly." More deep breaths and fake sneezes. After they left I let out a sigh of relief. I really like this couple; LB was so very well behaved, but I just can't deal with pain. I would never begrudge a happy family, but damn it! I am soooo jealous. I hate being jealous. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. Sigh! At least its saturday and I can drown my sorrows in a glass of wine tonight.