Twice in a day?!?!

What's the occasion? No special occasion really. I finally left the office after working longer then I wanted to, came home and took me a nap. I am still sad but its hard to stay sad all day when the sun is shining. I knew I should have gone on a walk and got me an ice cream cone! ;)

I am totally getting spoiled here! We put a tv in our room. I am usually opposed to having a tv in my bedroom but I am actually liking it. I think it helps that we don't turn on the tv and then fall asleep. Nothing can kill your sleep cycle then a really bad infor-mercial! I watched a little tv in the room so DSS could play with his video games.

I hear myself saying, "my child won't ____ or my kid will ___." I guess its really easy to feel this way when you really aren't parenting your own child. But I often find myself wondering if I would be a bad mommy. I mean, I was raised in a really strict household. But guess what?! It diddn't kill me. I would not be as strict as my own parents but I would totally have rules and I would enforce them. I often think that if Scott and I were to have kids and God forbid, we were to split, I would want him to parent our kid (or kids) with rules. I would want him to have extremely high expectations too. We were talking about this at work (during lunch) and how much easier it is to parent when both parents are on the same page. I found that the parents in my office aren't lax parents. I am amazed at how strict my boss is with his kids as well as my co-workers. By that, I mean that I am equally amazed that my co-workers are somewhat strict parents too, and have strong feeling on things such as missing school and doing chores. I am not talking abuse here, but rules and expectations. I wonder if I would be able to parent like that. I do want my kids to grow up and be resectful. I want my kids to do well in school (and not play hookey), participate in sports and maybe even play a musical instrument. I played 5 different instruments. I would be just pissed if my kids talked back. I would probally spank and/or revoke privledges. I am not talking about beating my kids and I will not debate on the whole "to spank or not to spank" issue. I can not tell you what I would or would not do, since I am not yet a parent.

So what got me on this topic. Hmmmm...I don't think I have a word for it. But I thought to myself, "is God thinking that I will be a bad mom so he doesn't want me to have kids?" I know that is such a ridiculous thought that I can't even believe I typed it, let alone thought it. I guess that word is "self doubt." Well, LOL! That's two words.

Ok, enough for now. My brain is taxed (lol! it's tax season) and I am ready for a break here. Please forgive my typo's. Blogger's spell check is not working. :(