New Ink and New Year

While ttc'ing, I felt it was prudent to put off doing new things. Oh sure, I would go on vacations and what not but never made a "big life" decision. Yeah, I bought a new car and to be perfectly honest, it is not a "kid friendly" car but always told myself that if MY children destroyed MY car, that I would be ok with it. Trust me, this is going somewhere.

You see, I am one (or was one) class away from finishing my college degree. I never finished for a few reason but the reason I had the most trouble explaining was this: "it's the principle, man." See, once I got mixed up with my ex, I took the classes he took. Honestly, if it weren't for me, that jacka$$ would have never made it out of college. After about of year of business classes (and extreme discouragement from my mother*), I was only taking business courses. Now, don't get me wrong, but I did like the math and economic courses and did good in those classes. But that is not what I wanted to do when I grew up. I even started off my college career taking classes in subject matters that I was interested in and could see myself focusing on when I grew up.

*Really, that is another blog post all together and requires far more energy that I have at this time.

Anyways, I do have a point...I promise. While ttc'ing, I also researched and really considered going back to school. My thoughts always went like this: "if I go back to school now, I will get pregnant." So, I never did it...never went back to school. Four years later and I realized that I am never going to get this time back; I am not going to get any younger. I am going back to school to study what I want to study!!! I did it!!! I made a decision, I actually followed through and I am going back to school right after the new year.

Sure, it will be tough, my time will be stretched thin and I will be tired and poor as hell and I don't mind. I will be studying here, enrolled in the "Phlebotomy, EKG Technician and Lab Assistant" program. Not totally what I want to do when I grow up but close and more importantly, it will get my foot in the door in the medical field. Once there, I can study more lab techniques and possibly get into the EMT field with time.

Now, onto that new ink I mentioned. Despite the fact that I was "only" five weeks along when I miscarried my little Fishstick, it was painful. I think everyday of my baby that wasn't. I get so sad when I think about where I should be in my pregnancy. So, in remembrance of my Fishstick, I got new ink. Without further ado, here is it!

This photo was taken about 5 minutes post tattoo. My tattoo artist Pete, is not only Hungarian, world famous (at least in Europe) but kick a$$ too. Case in point, I showed him a picture that I saved to my crackberry. He glanced at it for about 10 seconds, smoked a cig and then drew out my tattoo. I knew what to expect and what I envisioned but he did much more then I anticipated. This tattoo looks 20x's better then I imagined it looking. (For the record, it still looked nice in my little mind. It's the shading that looks fucking amazing!!) I also had Pete re-pierce my belly since I had to take the ring out for one of my laps. It wasn't fully shut but nonetheless, not the best feeling to have the ring put back.

**I know this is a whale tail and not a fish (or fishstick) but I could not find a tattoo of a fish that I wanted stuck on me. When we were in Alaska, we saw some Humpback's and I felt a sense of peace. I knew, in my heart and soul that I wanted to remember my baby with a whale. I stuck with the whale tail to keep it small and simple. I have my new tattoo on my inside of my left wrist, not really hidden by my watch but in a spot that felt so right.