No tittle

I just reread my last blog post. I realized that I sound very selfish in my rant. Scott made a little remark to me this morning that made me realize he read my blog. No biggie, I want him to read my blog. I realized that my rant was all about me and MY feelings towards my infertility.


I have always assumed that Scott did not have feelings toward my infertility. But, we are a couple and while I mean be the one with bad eggs, we are in this together. It is our infertility. I know that he has some feelings, be they good or bad (happy or sad?) about our infertility. But let's face it...Men handle situations like infertility very differently then women. I have heard women say they hope it's them with the problem because they just don't think their man can handle it. What I should acknowledge is that the emotions that I have toward being unable to conceive are different from Scott's. And, he as a man will handle it differently that I will as a woman.


Men are naturally fixers. I think it frustrates our men when they can't fix us. It is also true that men just are big on sharing their feelings. A man who is also an engineer finds it nearly impossible to share their feelings. I joke with Scott that engineers have no feelings. I know they do but they (male engineers) seem to have the most trouble sharing their feelings.


So back to my last post here. I realize that while Scott may not be shedding tears over our inability to have a baby, he does have feelings about OUR infertility. I guess I have assumed that it is me who wants the baby, it is me with the bad eggs so therefore it is me with all the emotions. My goal for now is to not assume that Scott has no feelings towards our infertility and try to accept that he just because he doesn't verbalize them doesn't mean they don't exist. Well that, and to try to maintain a positive attitude that I will pass the next Lupon Challenge Test.